Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Why is our generation so unhappy?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

If you believe in God, do you think God can save you from cancer?

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I can count

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Night Owls Face Faster Cognitive Decline - Neuroscience News

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I can read

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Is GATE tougher than JEE?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Man Buys $70,000 Ford After Dealership 'Played With the Numbers' for Him. 2 Years Later, He's Speaking Out - Motor1.com

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Lucas: The Response - University of North Carolina Athletics - University of North Carolina Athletics

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

When will dating stop being so hard for Gen Z?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I have complete contempt for fakery

Billy Joel cracking jokes about ‘getting old,’ ‘cremated’ after brain disorder diagnosis, Tribeca doc director shares - New York Post

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I see through liars

Trump administration, for 1st time, returns wrongly deported migrant to US - ABC News

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Why has no country adopted the SA80/L85 rifle?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

NASA unexpectedly finds 'X-shaped structures' in Earth’s upper atmosphere, which they can’t fully explain - Earth.com

I actually pay taxes

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t cotton to rapists

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t buy bullshit

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I understand how hurricane paths work